Head of Journey, Ryan Vrede, took two of his closest pals to a secluded Overberg retreat. It turned out to be life altering.
I just lately spent two days at The Black Barn with two of my closest pals, Julio and Bevan. We related, cooked, shared a couple of chilly brews, and made the a lot of the personal seaside. On the floor, it was a easy getaway. In reality, it was one thing way more vital.
Bevan, Julio and I making our manner all the way down to The Black Barn’s personal seaside
My unstated goal for the time away was to create area — actual area — for the boys to disconnect from the heaviness of their each day lives. 2025 has been an especially onerous 12 months for each of them.
With out sharing particulars that aren’t mine to inform, they’re grieving in several methods. And I’m too. As males, we haven’t spoken about these experiences within the methods we in all probability ought to have.
We’ve carried them quietly, independently, and the burden has turn into crushing. I got here throughout a line that mentioned, “Most males stay lives of quiet desperation.” I felt that deeply, and so did Jules and Bevan.
I’m scripting this in early December, on the tail finish of a 12 months that has taken greater than it has given. That made the getaway important to our well-being — not a luxurious, not a leisure whim, however a crucial intervention.
The precise atmosphere mattered, and The Black Barn, set within the Romansbaai Non-public Reserve about two and a half hours from Cape City, proved to be precisely that.
What makes The Black Barn particular is that it manages to be many issues without delay. A gaggle of pals can collect right here to unwind. A household can settle in for world-class lodging and scenic calm. A pair can use it as a base to discover the Overberg. Distant employees can escape their regular areas for a workation with views that reset the thoughts.
For us — a examined triumvirate — it was a spot of peace. Nothing extra sophisticated than that.
The Black Barn in Romansbaai Non-public Sport Reserve affords world-class lodging and scenic calm.
The home facilitates a sort of togetherness that doesn’t want ceremony. On our final night time we performed 80s and 90s classics, marvelling at what number of musical giants formed these eras. We sat across the outdoors braai romanticising our sporting primes and laughing — loudly — on the silly lengths we went to for a little bit of teenage consideration. We spent an hour within the out of doors wood-fired sizzling tub, climbing in too quickly and climbing out too late, rising as three mildly cooked males with questionable decision-making abilities.
The braai space at The Black Barn set the scene for a visit down reminiscence lane.
The kitchen grew to become its personal bonding ritual. It’s spacious sufficient to prepare dinner comfortably collectively — one thing that’s underrated in the way in which it builds connection. However the fantastic thing about the area is that it additionally permits for privateness. Every room has a beneficiant en suite toilet, completed to an ordinary that rivals any high-end keep. After shared meals and shared moments, retreating into your individual room for a sizzling bathe, a collection binge, a day nap, or, in my case, writing, felt pure and restorative.
The lounge space is a sink-into-it sort of area — massive, heat, inviting. And if solitude means motion for you, the personal reserve delivers. A run or a stroll by Romansbaai affords the sort of quiet most of us neglect we’d like. Professional tip: take the trail all the way down to the personal seaside, sit for some time, and let the silence work on you.
Lush surrounds supply an area to attach and mirror.
We spent a couple of hours on that seaside on our second day. We swam in ocean water that was mercifully hotter than Clifton’s, then settled into the sand with a few Coronas. Jules and Bevan drifted off at totally different factors, wandering down the shoreline alone. I didn’t ask what they had been occupied with; I used to be simply grateful they lastly had the area to assume in any respect.
The personal seaside at The Black Barn provided many hours of refreshing dips and deep conversations.
Increasingly more, I’m noticing what number of males I care about are navigating extremely powerful seasons. I don’t need to generalise, however my intuition — and expertise — is that almost all males reply to ache and disruption with deeper isolation. The disgrace of a divorce. The desperation of shedding a job. The sudden passing of somebody you’re keen on. The collapse of a relationship you thought would final endlessly. These moments can break a person if he doesn’t have individuals prepared to face within the storm with him.
We’ve been conditioned to thoughts our enterprise. To remain out of it. To push by quietly. However I’ve discovered that I’m, in reality, my brother’s keeper. I can’t be passive of their ache. Generally that appears like sitting subsequent to them in silence whereas they cry. Generally it’s listening with out making an attempt to repair something. And generally it seems like packing the automotive, driving out to a phenomenal dwelling within the Overberg, and simply being there — absolutely, deliberately, with out the noisy world intruding.
That’s what The Black Barn gave us: a spot the place presence grew to become the precedence. A spot the place friendship was sufficient. A spot the place three males carrying heavy issues may put them down, even briefly, and breathe once more.
For some, it will likely be an escape. For others, a basecamp for journey. For us, it was a reminder — mild however profound — that therapeutic generally begins in easy areas, shared with the precise individuals.
And that peace continues to be doable.
